I’ve been joking with my oldest kids about this line from Napoleon Dynamite. Maybe I’ll get them shirts or something to celebrate.
Back during the summer I became very aware of the conviction in my heart that it was time for us to stop seeking resources and searching high and low for counseling help and education help that is centered around trauma-informed care. That’s been me for the last 7 1/2 years. And if you live in a rural community like mine that’s a good hour and a half to two hours from any major city, you also face this struggle; especially if you happen to be parenting kids from hard places or have kids with special needs. Danny and I stood on the beach back in May, staring at the waves as my eyes poured tears.
“I think Jesus is leading us to stop looking for these resources we’ve needed all this time, and start building them.”
Those might be the scariest words I’ve ever spoken since the day we first announced that we were adopting a little girl from Peru, and it was soooo outside of our ability in every way. And now it feels just as scary, and just as laced with the providential hand of Jesus as it did way back then.
Do you ever feel like all of the things that Jesus has had you walk through over the last years seem to be coming to a cusp of something you never could have expected? It feels super scary and exciting and somehow seems to start making perfect sense? Yeah. I feel that strongly.
I cannot express how hard it’s been to find real, godly counsel in the middle of parenting kids from a background of trauma, specifically in the last two years. But in hindsight, we needed that counsel way back at the beginning of this journey even when we were too prideful to admit it. I cannot express how difficult it is to know your children are capable of something great, yet you do not have the faith-backing, therapists or educational needs available in your area to help you put the necessary pieces together for them. So you keep trying. You keep sorting through studies and research and new parenting tactics to figure it all out all by yourself, all while you feel critical years slipping by.
And I clearly believe the Lord has asked me to stop doing that. It’s time to recognize that there are many, many other parents in my same position. In fact, there are children our church ministers to weekly that have every need for ongoing godly counseling and faith-filled, psychological help because of their own traumatic backgrounds and needs, yet there is simply no one connecting the dots who cares enough. And it kind’ve makes me sick. Sick at myself for not seeing it sooner.
Sick enough to go back to college. Sick enough to get a degree in developmental psychology. I don’t know what all of the next steps are. My first step will be finishing my undergrad and completing the credentials to receive my LCP in trauma psychology. There is a masters program at Texas Christian university that was started by Dr. Karen Purvis (author of the Connected Child) that is the stuff that dreams are made of for a mama like me, but for the moment they do not have a distance learning program. I’m praying that they will by the time I graduate with my undergrad. This program is designed to prepare to-be Christian psychologists for their doctorate to work with kids and families from a background of trauma. We will see what God leads in the next steps.
I’m simultaneously beginning a program to become an accredited Montessori teacher in the early-childhood arena (little ones). I’ll share more on that later. This is something that I can do together, time wise, in a distance learning format. It will require a some other things like a residency and internship.
Danny is changing up his work schedule and he works a few 12 hour days at the church and is Mr. Mom for speech therapy Thursdays and homeschooling Fridays. I cannot express how incredible it is to be in a marriage where both partners are focused and one on their ultimate purposes together. I’m so grateful for Danny!
I’ve only just started so this is super fresh. My brain has a lot of “I can’t” thoughts and I keep pushing them away with promises. I am trusting there will be grace for every subsequent step.