It’s something very curious to watch your little boys grow into young men. I must say, the transition seems to begin slowly and then before you realize it the tiny hand that used to insist on clamping tightly to yours has quickly become an independent being with his own ideas about life. Why does this transition break my mama heart, so?
We know growth is coming like we know the sun is going to keep on rising and falling. We know these little ones won’t want to be rocked on our laps forever just like we know the seasons are gonna keep on changing. But like birth and like death, we live day in day out oblivious to the foreshadowing of all of these changes. We get caught up in the laundry loads and the tantrums and the tears and we scarcely get the moments in all of the craziness to stop and relish the fact that we are holding our boy, who will indefinitely, should God so intend it, grow up to be a man. It’s going to happen. He will one day bid farewell to the lap that rocked him and wrinkles that bore with him through the hard transitions and he will set out on a journey all his own.
I’ve been watching my boys change so much as of late. I’m constantly reassessing the ways I deal with them and the ways we conversate. I’m constantly asking myself how I can gather up the tiny pieces of time and make them count a little bit longer.
Josiah…the first little one who I rocked upon my lap. He’s growing and changing so much every day. Such a creative mind. Josiah loves justice and loves to come up with new ideas to make things work. He struggles with the rawness of humanity and cannot understand why people do hurtful things. He truly has a heart to do what is right.
Carlos- who I never got the privilege of caring for as a little one but have had the honor of watching him grow and change so much over the last nearly two years. It is pretty astounding to see what this guy can figure out. He can trouble shoot most problems and come up with solutions like it’s second nature. Carlos always wants to pitch in. You’ll scarcely find him sitting around because he always wants to be helping someone with something.
Amaus is such a free thinker. If any of my children grow up to be nomadic and travel the world, I’m pretty sure it’ll be this guy. He’s always on the move, looking for a new adventure. Sometimes he just forgets to tell his mama where he is setting off to find his adventures. Amaus is full of compassion and genuinely weeps when he sees that others are sad or discouraged. He also is a clown and can come up with some pretty hilarious things.
Isaac is growing so much. He is mister cool, calm and collected (most of the time). He’s a man of few words. He loves music, singing and even writing songs and he is also all about rough-housing and a good wrestling match.
Salem, my little long haired dude, is about to be 4. The last four years have been a blur. He is at such a precious age where he absolutely loves to learn about everything. I’m doing my best to cherish the moments with this fun little guy who only yesterday was a crazy-haired infant.
Things sure have changed a lot…
So while I have a whole lot of goals for the New Year- one that is on the top of my list is making this year count. Cherishing the moments I have with the treasures God has entrusted to Danny and I. It’s just going a little too fast for this mama and I want to do a better job of soaking it up as my boys grow into men, and my daughters grow into women.