I struggle to begin this post without my eyes brimming with tears.
Why? Because I’m in a much better place than I have been for nearly a year. God is healing my heart.
The last year has taken more out of us and has been the most painful year that we’ve ever walked, but today I can say with solid assurance, we are standing up out of these ashes with resurrection victory pumping through our veins. We began last summer verbally declaring this truth and standing on God’s healing over our family, even though all of us were so hurt we couldn’t see straight. And for months we lay awake at night trying to escape the new reality of pain that we were trying to navigate as a family. And while that pain is still our present reality, we are walking in simultaneous healing and are full of hope.
There’s not a member of our household who has not been changed. I see maturity and a passion and hunger for Jesus rising up out of my reedlings…and Danny and I just are not the same. This right here is how my Jesus takes what the enemy fully meant for bad and turns it around for our good.
Back in January our church held a fast as we began the New Year. During that time of prayer God made it clear to me that I was to begin to make some changes in my own life to prepare for things that He had ahead. One of those things was that I was to spend less and less time in the home boutique I had built over the last two and a half years. That business has been a huge blessing that provided for us in ways that were necessary- but I have had to take the leap of faith of stepping back from that demand and trusting God’s provision in other ways for our family. It has been a walk of faith, yet we have been without nothing. God also made it very clear that I was supposed to actively take the steps to write more, and to take on the task of developing as a writer once again.
As God would have it, two summers ago, back when ignorance was bliss, and life was far simpler, we were crossing the country on our family road trip to Glacier National Park. We drove by an incredible, abandoned old farm-house that stood tall, though it had obviously weathered many a winter snow. It had a rough wooden exterior with wooden shingles and it had a large barn behind it to the left. It sat in a field of knee-high green grass and there were the tall mountains of the Medicine Bow National Forest in the backdrop. It was post-card beautiful. When I saw the house, the Lord clearly spoke to me. And because of that, I struggled to leave the side of the gravel road where I stood. I took a lot of pictures, admiring and wondering what story that rugged old house told.
On the side of that gravel road Jesus began to whisper to my heart. He told me that I would write another book and that book would be one to restorers like us. Restorers called to pick up messes they didn’t make (and a good many they did make) and restorers who are called to pour their lives out on behalf of those who have been counted hopeless by the world; often-times even the church. As we drove mile after mile the Lord laid out to me a few things surrounding this book- but primarily, it would be a book of encouragement to those like us who are called to the broken, miraculous, adventurous, lifelong work of restoration.
That work of restoration is the beat of our hearts…from every board and corner in our old house, to every member of our family, to our city and beyond. And now in hindsight, I find it very hard to believe that God would ask that of me if His full intention was not to bring healing to every member of our household- a healing I didn’t even fully grasp was needed or the other needs for restoration that were ahead.
So here I am. I’m changing. I know I’m not to be timid about what I am called to do anymore. This season of life has shown me that I cannot waste anymore time. I have to boldly step out of my comforts and forward into who God says I am, even if I have to do it with shaky knees somedays.
I am presently taking a class about how to up my writing and blogging game from those who are much wiser than I am. I am learning so much already! One thing that I am learning is that my website here has to have a complete overhaul, so stay-tuned for that! I am not at the place of financing such a task just yet- so thank you to the friends who have hung out with me here despite the hokeyness! ha! 😀 Soon we will have a much nicer space where comments function again and sharing is quite simple. 🙂
Until then, I am working on incorporating more sharing through video via youtube and instagram tv. I’m going back to a lot of former blogging roots- but my central focus will remain Jesus, family, and all of the aspects of restoration we as family are called to live out. I’m pretty pumped about some fun video projects I have in the works that focus on my love for repurposing vintage finds on a budget. I’ll be blogging about that as well! If you’d like to follow along, please subscribe to my youtube channel (Calley Reed) and follow me on instagram @calleyreed.
Friends, thank you for your love and prayer for our family. <3