Sometimes everything comes back into view right when we need it to…
I’m a very goal driven and schedule oriented person. For the last two months our new schedule has gone very smoothly. I’ve been able to wake up early and spend that much needed time with my Jesus and I’ve been working towards running a little further each morning. I can’t tell you how helpful that time out on a country road with the sun coming up and my favorite music filling my ears, does for my day.
But then, a couple of weeks ago I started having some knee trouble again. Then some foot trouble. Then, when all of that seemed better- everything in the world has prevented me from getting much sleep.
Last night I was ready. I felt more rested. No pain. I was so ready to start my day with the things that really set the pace for me. Then at 11:00PM the screaming started. Salem was running fever and he cried for a good two hours, spending the rest of the night tossing and turning and throat chopping his mama (that would me) in his restless sleep.
I’m sorry to say that I almost woke up mad that once again- there was not going to be any real routine I could follow this morning. I was not going to be able to check off my list. I am sleepy and I may drink a pot of coffee. I am not even sure if I can run the two miles that took me a bit to work up to even if my night had gone well- after the last two weeks of “no goes.”
Then I saw this scripture this morning.
“What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator. Does a clay pot argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, ‘Stop, you’re doing it wrong!’ Does the pot exclaim, ‘How clumsy can you be?’
Whoa. So convicted. What is God trying to make out of me in all of the unexpected things I wake up to every day as a mom of seven? I think it’s a lot bigger than toning up and checking off my list. I think it’s so much bigger than reaching some very small personal goals.
Stepping back- it’s as big as raising Godly, thankful, hard-working, radical, passionate, pursuers of Christ. It’s as big as giving my life so others might know HIM. It’s as big as emptying myself over and over again to a life of surrender that enables me to give more of myself to minister to those who would not know love or family apart from that surrender.
So, so, so much bigger.
So what do you do when your schedule falls apart and you find your goals slipping away because of circumstances beyond your control? Well this is what I’m finding the need to do today. I’m choosing to lift my eyes off of myself and place them on my Maker. I’m raising my hands to the heavens. This is what I’m doing right now. And I’m declaring:
“Thank you, my God for choosing me to be a vessel you can use and work through! Thank you that you’ve entrusted me with this life to live for YOUR glory! I worship you and thank you for forming me and changing me. I know you know what’s best!”
What a relief. Phew. Glad I got that off of my chest. Now I can spend my day praising Him, rather than feeling mad. A change of perspective changes everything.
And I’ll set my alarm again, and give it another go in the morning. Regardless of what today or tomorrow holds, God is faithful in it all and I want to keep each day in perspective. His perspective.